Boots that were not made for walking should not be used for walking

Expectations not met, and I feel disappoint. I shouldn’t expect too much of people, I know. But I really do try to give them the benefit ouf doubt. But every single time they prove to me that I was right in being unfairly suspicious towards them.

Anyway. Walking home yesterday after having spent the night sleeping on a friend’s couch (Thank you Michael ^^) was pretty nice, apart from the boots hurting my feet. Those boots were obviously NOT made for walking, at least not any long distance walking… But the sun was shining, it was really warm out and I had all this really good music to listen to. Also kind of came to the realization that I shouldn’t drink red wine, haha :D

I wasn’t really feeling hungover yesterday, which came as a relief. So I cleaned the bathroom, did a lot of laundry and played some WoW. And then came the evening. Meh. I was laying on the couch for an hour, half-asleep and listening to music (with Spotify surprising me with its’s clever randomness; I like this song! And this one too!) and feeling that perhapssss I shouldn’t drink so much next time… Stupid hangover.

Today I am merely sleepy. And naked. So yeah, time to go get dressed I suppose :)
I will hopefully receive my new phone today! Yay! :D

Winter wonderland! …wait, what?

For some reason there is snow outside. A LOT of it. And yes, that is cold and stupid and what’s even worse is that I left my winter boots at work yesterday and went home wearing my inhouse shoes. Hrm. BUT I can bring my camera today and take some sweet snow pictures, so I am trying to focus on the positives here :)

Got such a head ache right now, but I am hoping it will pass soon. Not sure if I got enough sleep last night, I know I woke up sometime around three and was confused that it was not yet time to go up and get ready for work. So yeah. Here I am. Tired beyond recognition and with a head ache, and as soon as I get to work I can add wet and cold feet to the list of my miseries. OH WHAT LIFE IS BAD.

I am of course not serious. Even though head ache and cold feet I am still in a good mood. Isn’t that just peachy? :)

Ohwell. Time to get dressed. I bet it is cold as fuck outside so I want to wear something warm :P

Days like these I want to grab the nearest pen and stab you in the brain

Materialist! I like owning things. And I just hung up after upgrading my measly little iPhone 3Gs to an iPhone 4s. /happy dance. Got a really good deal and I will be paying 50SEK less per month for a phone that is pretty much twice as good. Yeah, can’t argue with that ^_^

Today has been a very long day. It started off good but then I started to get really annoyed with some people and the way they handle their work, and then the day was pretty much ruined since I have to try to fix things they mess up. Jolly good. No, really. Makes me giggle happily like a mad panda EVERY TIME. Oh, wait. ;(

Anyway. This wednesday has come to an end and tomorrow it’s thursday. Thursday pass quickly, and fridays are nothing but a big lol until the work day is over. I am most likely going to a party on saturday and then spending the night at the couch of a friend living close by, which will be nice. I feel the need to go out and meet more people, now that I am being all OOC and all! (Out of character – doing thing that are not within my comfort zone)

Will most likely spend the evening with World of Warcraft, but then again I just got the latest issue of Rue Morgue… Hm… :3

”Sizeism” – because it is OK to hate on thin people!(?)

”Have you put on a lot of weight lately? You are starting to look really chubby!”
”Oh my god, when did you get so fat?”
”You should lose some weight, you don’t look as good any more”

Neither of these things are OK to say to someone. But turn them around and read thin instead of fat and you have something that happens every day. You look too thin, you feel like a skeleton, you need to eat more, you should put on weight. Why is it OK that people can comment on my body because I am of a smaller size? I am fully aware that none of the people that have actually commented on my recent weight loss (that was not even a volontarily one, but something that was included in my 4 week sickness) are doing this out of malign or to be rude. But to be perfectly honest, it is not that fun to have people stop by daily to give me their opinion on wether or not I am too think.

Before my weight loss I didn’t like my body. My clothes were getting too small, and looking at myself in a mirror I could see all the flaws. Yes, I know what many are thinking: ”You weren’t even close to being chubby, you were thin back then too!”. Yes, I know. But I was still one or two sizes too big for most of my wardrobe.

Now after I have lost that extra weight I suddenly feel much better about myself. Of course I do! I am back to my high school body, my clothes fit and I think I look good! Yes, I AM shallow. When did I ever tell you that I am not a shallow person?

My point here is still that it is not OK to tell a fat person that they are too fat, so people don’t do that. But it is apparently OK to tell a thin person that they are too thin. Why doesn’t people realize that I too can be hurt by any comment that indicates that I am not good enough? Too thin.

The above picture was entered into a Zombie contest on Facebook. I got a LOT of comments from Americans saying that ”she is stick thin”, ”she has a lollipop neck!”, ”her arms are too thin and it looks really bad” and ”that zombie should go eat some hamburgers instead!”. Seriously. Does anyone think that ANYONE want to hear that about themself?
NO ONE left a comment like that to the chubbier zombie chicks. No one said ”you should eat less burgers and more brains”, ”her arms are bigger than my backyard!” and ”that zombie would be easy to run away from”. So why is it OK to have a negative opinion on people that wear smaller sizes?

Yeah yeah yeah, ”I should be happy I am not too big” and so forth, I get that. But to be honest, people: Keep your opinions about people’s sizes and body shapes to yourself unless you are asked, no matter if the thing you want to comment is weight loss or weight gain. Okies?

Kan väl köra en snabb disclaimer på svenska också: Jag vet att folk inte dagligen kommenterar på ”hur smal!” jag har blivit för att vara elaka, men alltså. Klart man börjar ta illa upp när folk hela tiden försöker upplysa en om att man är FÖR smal och att det inte ser jättebra ut? Folk går väl (hoppas jag!) inte runt och upplyser mulliga/storvuxna personer om att de är för tjocka?

Jag försöker INTE säga att det är OK att attackera ”större personer” för deras vikt, jag försöker säga att ingen vill höra att de är för stora eller för små.

Folk borde helt sonika låta bli att kommentera på folks viktminskning/viktökning, för det är alltid en känslig fråga och i synnerhet då om kommentaren uttrycks på ett sätt som visar att personen i fråga inte är helt positivt inställd till viktförändringen. Typ så.

Personality defined by hair

Quite often I really do miss my undercut. It made me look cool and as if I had something interesting to say. I think I look too normal nowadays, with this awkwardly half-long, brownish hair with really splitted ends. Meh. Yesterday I was holding up my hair to see if I should go get it cut a wee bit shorter, you know, so that it ends somewhere between my jaw line and my ears. But meh. I like that I am able to gather it all and put it on my head, so I won’t be cutting it anytime soon.

Allright, so as the edit says I actually bought that red dress yesterday. It is going to take 7-14 days before it arrives, and it is a little less than four weeks to my birthday, so I fully expect to be able to wear it at my party. I am all SQUEEE about it! The brand is Stop Staring!, and even though I only have two dresses (and a pair of pants) from them so far, it is clearly one of my favorite brands. They differ from swedish brands because they actually sew clothes for girls with real curves, the kind I have. I have boobs, I have a smaller waist and I have wide hips, but since most of the clothes here in Sweden are sewn for chicks that are equally wide over these three parts I can’t buy a tight dress that is supposed to hug all three areas, because it will be too big over the stomach/waist if I am to fit my boobage and hips in there. MEH! Buuuut Stop Staring! actually understands that there are thin chicks with boobs, hooray! :3 So I already know that unless I fucked up picking my size the dress will be a perfect fit ♥

Tomorrow my mom comes to visit! So we are going out to Väla on saturday for some serious shopping. Not sure if I will get anything though, I will prolly only buy if I find anything fun but I am not really looking to expand my wardrobe at the moment. But yeah, sure, perhaps some cute spring outfits? We’ve had sun and warmth the last couple of days, so spring is clearly on it’s way, yay! It kind of make my goth side cringe, but I really get happy from seeing the sun ^^ So yeah. A clearly ungothic ”squeee!” is in it’s place here, I think.

Time to get ready for the working day. Again the week seem to run away, run away. Wasn’t it Monday like …yesterday?

Also, btw: It is now 26 days until my birthday! (27/3) Prepare the countdown!

Too weird to be considered normal; Too normal to be considered weird

I just feel that it’s hard to find where I fit in. I am in between and none of the camps accept me because I don’t fit their standards. I just don’t know what to do about it either, because I cannot give up on what makes me normal and I cannot give up on what makes me weird. So I will stay in this no-man’s-land and hope that I will someday meet someone who’s like me. I would like that.

Tired today. I had problems falling asleep yesterday, of course. I think I fell asleep around 1AM, so yeah. Not really rested and chill today, lol. And tonight I’m going out for a beer or two, so this week will come off to a really rested start. OH WAIT.

Apart from that things are …well… pretty good, I guess? I am sad, but I feel pretty OK anyway. At least right now, but I guess that the winds can change at any given moment. I’ll do my best to keep my head high. I am getting really tired of these lows.

It’s a month until my 28th birthday today, but I still got to ride the bus as a youth on saturday. I just asked for a ticket and assumed he would charge me as a grown-up, but I only payed half price according to my brother who actually looked at the machine. Hrm. Do I really look that young? I understand that I get to ride on youth ticket if I ask for one, but this? It’s good, I guess. People still think my brother is the one who is six years older than me and not the other way around. lol.

Time to try to find something to wear. I realised that the jeans I usually wear are WAY too big right now. Chubby gone slim. Nothing to wear still. wuuut.

But I was a vision in black and white

Long weekend, with a lot (too much?) going on. Not sure what to do with all the impressions and thoughts, so I guess I’ll just bottle them up and hide them at the top shelf of my mind. Away, away, go away.

Had a fun time in Malmö, but I wished I could’ve gone home earlier than at 6AM this morning. Too cold, too hungry and too tired to even think. Slept with one eye open on the train home, then I fell asleep pretty fast after I got home to my bed. Woke up around 11 and fell asleep again, next time I woke up it was 17:30. lolwut? Since then I’ve chilled by the computer and watched a movie (Pretty in Pink) on the couch. Now I’m going back to bed to read some comics before I fall asleep.

Yesterday was confusion, people flirting with me, me pwning at karaoke (even though the selection of songs was really horrible. it ended up with me having to sing Amadeus by Falco, in german!) and me having fun and meeting people I haven’t seen for a long time. I also cut my brother (undercut) and failed at doing anything fun with my own hair. I will hopefully be able to show you some pictures of my outfit tomorrow, it was A-OK! I got rid of the skirt at Deep though, I don’t have any problems dancing around with panties on when it’s themed :P

But yeah. Still feeling low. Not sure when I’m gonna be able to get high again (figuratively speaking, no drugs here). Meh. Just a big fucking MEH.

BUT on the bright side: OMG my waist after having worn that corset for 12 hours! And the body, the body! I just stood staring at myself (naked) in the mirror earlier today, what the heck happened? I am fucking stunning when naked! At least today. When looking at myself hungover. Like that. Also, kind of awkward moment when I went in to the bedroom to fetch some clothes, turned around and noticed that one of the neighbors was staring at me. Luckily I was wearing a towel, or that would’ve been even MORE awkward. Hrm.