Photography: Ricard Hellberg
I was bored so I dressed up in my prettylicious witch costume and ventured into the woods of Helsingborg to pose with candles and a stuffed plastic raven. You know, the normal thing to do on Easter/any given saturday.
Got a few more to show, but I’ll post them later on :)
I have started to go back to my roots again, in a way. Embracing the tiny lvl 18 Zombie that I once was. Taking some fashion advice from her from time to time. It is actually quite fun to dress the way I did ten years ago :)
I used to try to be a wiccan. This was back when I was 17-18. I bought a book on a sale at Åhléns and I thought it was very interesting. I guess I was more of an agnostic than an atheist at this point, and the heathen ways of the wiccan belief fit me very well. I liked the fact that the women had greater status in the wiccan belief than in f.x. christian belief. I was 17 years old and I wanted power. Not that I believed in actual witch craft, not that kind of power. But hey, show me a 17 year old girl who does NOT want to take over the world? I still have this lingering plan on how to accomplish world domination. ;)
I let go of the wiccan aspirations pretty fast. Still got some of my old books left though. But yeah, religions aren’t my thing. I am too much of an atheist to be able to belive in that.But I still like it. Lots of danging necklaces, rituals, cults, long black dresses and dramatic make-up. So, perhaps a bit more often now: lvl 18 Zombie is back. Hi! ^_^
But. Don’t be fooled: I am still the witch. I am still the huldra. I am still one with myself. And I still listen to the same kind of music to keep me empowered. Blessed be and if you fuck with me I’ll give you hell three times over. Or at least I will do my very best. And this is not religion, this is a state of mind. Either you get what I am stabbing at, or you don’t. It’s for me to know and you to find out. But yeah. It’s a self confidence thing, nothing else. And it has to do with the soil of my birth place. Neverrrrrrrrmind.
I am very interested in the OLD mythologies. Greece, Egyptian and Norse mythology. Especially Norse mythology. I don’t know how many books I’ve read on the subject, and I keep craving more knowledge. I am not going to say ”It’s so cool!” but well, in a way, it is. ;) I guess it’s the viking in me that is trying to get through aswell. Or, I suppose, the valkyrie.
Anyway. Happy Easter, Ostara or saturday to you! ;)
”Something is standing in between me and my sanity – the say my witch is just a dream, morbid fantasy”
Movie tips:
Pictures from yesterday, me dressed up as my 17 year old self and playing with candles and a fake raven. lol ^^
Feeling pretty today. To be honest I’ve been feeling pretty since I dyed my hair on friday. I like it better when it’s red, and as long as the eyebrows match it looks twice as good imo. I keep stopping in front of mirrors to stare at myself for a while, and then I pull up the cell phone to snap a picture but it doesn’t look at all like what I see in the mirror. The camera hates me, it’s a well-known fact. Yes, I can look really good on pictures, but the good ones are 1 in 20 (if I’m lucky) and then it doesn’t even look like *me*.
I’ve always felt like the ugly duckling. I had some ”friends” who were very good at telling me about all my faults and flaws when I was younger (I’ve mentioned this before) and it doesn’t take too long before you start thinking that they must be right. I didn’t start getting attention from boys until the summer when I was sixteen and hung out with a gang of 7 guys who were visiting Medeltidsveckan. I felt like a confused kid in a candy store, all these guys giving me compliments and trying to get my attention, what’s up with that? I was paranoid and suspicious, of course. I was pretty sure they were only joking to hurt me. To this day I don’t know for sure, but with what I’ve learned from life so far I think that they actually found me pretty. It was that week, when I was sixteen and shy like a doe and dressed like a fool that I got my first kiss. I fell in love, of course. I was so happy for the attention and I mistook my feelings for love. In retrospect I understand that I was just fooling myself, but yeah. Anyway, it was nice being kissed :) I like that. Soft lips and a curious tongue :3
When I was 17, 18, 19 I had a lot of fanboys. I jokingly called them my harem, because it sounded cool and I was desperate to be cool. I never even hung out with them, we just chatted and they told me I was pretty. I was clinging onto those words of praise because they were so important to me. After having spent all my previous school years being the ugly ducking, the odd one out, the weird nerd – I was finally being accepted, adored and appreciated by my surroundings. Sure, I was still the weird one. People in school thought I was a dork or just too strange for them. Me… I was just trying to find myself. I was outspoke and enjoyed being weird, even though I still really just wanted to fit in. Not having any friends for 6 years will do that to a girl, believe me.
And then I got a boyfriend. I will not discuss that any further here, that was both a good and bad period in my life and I will leave it be (for now, perhaps I’ll talk about it in the future), but it was another step in me becoming a more self confident person. Not only did boys think I was pretty, one of them even fell in love with me! How nice is that?
Anyway. This is a longer story than I intended, haha. After breaking up with him I fell into a black pit, sort of, and even though I still had fanboys and some creeps trying to catch my attention I started to feel less pretty. Then I met my second boyfriend and felt all better again and blah blah blah.
Now I’ve been single for 1,5 years. It started off very bad, and I felt very miserable over the break up. And then last summer I started feeling on top of the situation. I still do. And now I look in the mirror and I say to myself: Damn girl, you hot!
…and then I pull up the cell phone to save the moment and to have something to look back to when I’m feeling miserable again, and my camera phone tells me that I look like crap. Haha ^^ Fuck you, camera!
I am not really a vain or shallow person. I appreciate personality over looks. But that really doesn’t mean that beauty is irrelevant to me, and that I don’t enjoy feeling like a goddamn doll whenever I look at myself. Days like today are the days I want to be able to look back to when I’m feeling less pretty.
So. Um. Wall of text, and yet again I think I lost the red thread somewhere half through. Long story short: I’ve always considered myself unpretty, then I realized I’m fucking hawt but I can’t capture it on a picture to show anyone. FML. :P Oh, and I like kissing. Mrrr :3
Once upon a time I was a tiny, supercute baby girl. Now I’m a grown up, scary zombie. How things have changed ;)
I had such weird dreams last night, but I can’t remember. I just remember I was upset and tried to run away, but I was stuck in this strang world and I couldn’t get out of there. But I was less bewildered when I woke up today than yesterday, when I actually did this crazy turnaround before I got up. Instead of turning to the left, where my phone is, I actually did this really weird and panicked turn to the right, so I had to turn all the way to get to the phone. That kind of amused me when I eventually did get up to think about it, haha.
Yes, as you can see from my post yesterday evening I am neglecting everything that has to do with computers right now, as I am busy building a chainmail shirt. I put some pictures about this on facebook and now I have been asked to build more chainmail, haha. We’ll see when this piece is finished, I think. My hands are sore and swollen and my wrists are aching, but I am happy because I like building stuff ^^ The best thing about chainmail is that you can actually see the progress! Not ring by ring when you have started to getting somewhere, but there is always a visual progress which I like :) I hate when I have to spend hours on the zigzag when I sew, because it’s a lot of work but it doesn’s show. As soon as I can start putting the pieces together is when I am happy, because that is when the progress is showing. I am very visual oriented like that :)
Going out for birthday dinner with my brother and my ex tonight. Steakhouse! Mmmeat! :3 I am thinking Black & White, om nom nom ♥
Good morning!
I kind of neglected writing here both on Saturday and yesterday, but I’ve been kind of busy. And tired. I celebrated my birthday on Saturday, as you know. Not turning 28 until tomorrow though, so this is my last day as a youthful 27 yeard old! :P
Anyway. The party was awesome, I had such a blast! I have such lovely friends and as noticed on Facebook afterwards they enjoyed the party as much as I ^_^ I was given the four first albums from Sandman, 6 bottles of funlooking beer, one bottle of red wine, one bottle of Rosé champagne (I think they wanted me to get drunk!) and 8~ish packs of cupcake forms (cba to go count them right now :P)
And I was wearing my new, gorgeous dress from Stop Staring!, as seen in the picture above and the picture below ♥
Yesterday was spent on the couch, being a bit hungover (not as bad as I thought, tbh). I was watching RuPaul’s Drag Race (s3), being thrilled by the sun and building some chainmail. Took some pictures for Instagram, that I was thinking about putting up here later on in case people are interested in seeing the process :)
Time to get dressed and ready for work though. As always; Thanks for reading :)
So I have this thing for men that are well dressed. Doesn’t every girl? A button up shirt and a tie can make most men look dashing, and throw in a pair of well fitting pants to boot and my radar will start pinging :3
Buttoned shirts, ties, suspenders, shiny shoes, suits, uniforms and clothes that really fit the guy – that is just plain awesome. And no, of course people (men) don’t have to dress in suits for me to find them (more) attractive – just dress properly and in clothes that fit YOU. I am all for the alternative clothing, but to be honest I do prefer whole and clean clothes above thrasy and illfitting.So yeah… Dress to impress! I also like tank tops on men with the right kind of body omgggg :3
I am such a snob ;)
Just sayin’.
I had these really weird dreams about photography, and I was in a park photographing one girl I am friends with at Facebook and then suddenly she turned into Emelie and she tried to teach me how to shoot portraits. …well, at least this night I know I did get some sleep ;)
My mother gave me a pair of new Doc Martens for birthday gift, so the plan is that I am going to start using them today so that I can get used to them, and make them used to my feet. I have a vision of a world in pain, so most likely I’ll just walk awkardly to work with them and then take them off :D I’ll try to see if I can get a picture of them to show you ^^ I COULD give you a link to them, but meh.
Here’s what I wore to work yesterday:
People have been asking to see the *full* pinafore skirt, since every time I show it it’s in a headshot where only the ”suspenders” are shown. So here you go, now stop asking for better pictures :D (such a fashionista zombie!) The skirt is from Asos and they don’t sell it anymore. Shirt + stockings from H&M. Being an awesome zombie is genetic so can’t help you there.
Fashion blogging! Not really my cup of liquids, eh? :P