månadsarkiv: februari 2012

Pro at procrastination

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Well, of course I never started sewing yesterday. Why make it easy on myself? I cut the fabric and left it in a pile. So today I have to iron it, zig zag it, put it all together and be finished with it. No time tomorrow. Hrm. Good girl! …;(

Why do I always have to put all these little projects to the last second? I *really* need this skirt for tomorrow, so yeah. Can’t really just skip it and wear something else, because I don’t have anything else that would fit the theme I am going for. Silly stupid.

I slept well but woke up an hour before the alarm went off. Deadly tired at the moment, but I will be back to my own self in a little while. Whee. Right now I am listening to christmas music. Hrm. Perhaps something more upbeat would help me wake up..?

I’ll try to put up some pictures of my bustle skirt as soon as it is done. Gives me something more to reach for, which will hopefully help. Hrm.

I know you don’t read

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You may have told me you never read books. Lots of people never does. I can name four of you just like that, and I bet I know a lot more. Me, I grew up in books. I didn’t have friends in the same way everyone else did. I was a lonely child, and I was a lonely grown-up-to-be. I had friends, yes. But I think I found more solace in my books. Good old reliable books, with your soothing words and stiff binders.

And here I am. I am a book. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I tell you everything you want to know about me. Perhaps I am a diary. There are a lot of things I keep secret. Trust me, I don’t ever share secrets. I keep them to myself, deep down in my heart where no-one will find them. And now I have to keep myself secret, in a way. I want to open the book and let everything pour out. I want you to take all my words and put them in context, and I want you to understand. But I am keeping them secret. It’s a revised book you get when you see me. The extended version is limited, and it’s only for loan if you show me that you can handle the truth.

I wish I could tell you more about the real me. I wish you wanted to know more about the real me. But I switched covers of my book when no one was looking and now you’re getting a story but perhaps not the real one..?

One day I’ll give you the real book. The one about me. With all pages solid and nothing ripped out. I don’t like ripping out pages, and I don’t like revised versions where things are changed or edited out. The real me. You think you can handle that?

Not that I need sleep, but I do

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I did the misstake of snoozing before I got up this morning. Not a good idea, at all. I know that I get wayyyy more tired whenever I snooze, and still I do? Silly stupid. Now I am trying to keep my eyes open but every time I blink it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to open the eyes again. And I am not going to get a lot more sleep this weekend, seeing as how I have to get up around 8:30 on Saturday to go to Väla with my brother, and then I am not going back to bed until ~7:00 on Sunday morning due to us going to the club and then going with the first train home in the morning. So yeah, Sunday will be spent in bed because I will be in dire need of sleep. Omg. No idea how I am going to manage this, but it sounded like such a good idea when it first came up! I think I will have to try to get some naps during the day, like a child/old lady. lol.

I was so sleepy yesterday, but all of a sudden my stomach filled up with squeee and then I couldn’t fall asleep when I wanted to. Instead I was wide awake but oh so tired. Very annoying combination tbh, when you want and need to sleep but instead you are staring at the ceiling, picturing one million different possibilities. Silly stupid.

Monday I’ll be going out for a beer with two friends after work. Since I will be asleep all sunday I will be really perky and awake and everything by then, right? …right. Haha. Oh I will be such a mess.

Today I need to remember to bring glasses home from work, because I need to sew today and tomorrow to build that bustle skirt I really need for my outfit. Good thing I don’t do things last second all the time! …oh, wait. :P

Clothes, makeup, 6 feet axe.

Awesome is who awesome does

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I forgot all of my glasses (three pairs) at work, so I really shouldn’t be hanging around my computer today. Yet I do. Ohwell.

I bought a lot of fabric after work, I am going to try to make a burlesque bustle skirt for saturday. Plan is to build it tomorrow. I am not fully sure how to make it or even what I want it to look like, but meh. I’ve freestyled clothing before so it’s gonna be awesome because I am awesome!

But, well. If I am awesome… how come I don’t feel awesome? I feel paranoid, insecure and 14 years old. I don’t like that, I want and I need control. This is most likely one of the worst things that can happen to a control freak. Dang nabbit. It will work out fine I am sure, but right now I just want to scream if I am going to be perfectly honest with you. I just wish there was something I could do to magically fix things as I’d want them, but meh. Argh!

I am going to bed early today. My neck has been acting up all day and I’ve been both stiff and in a lot of pain. Hopefully the muscles will reset if I get enough rest..? Will bring a handful of comic albums to bed. I started reading Fables all over again. Om nom :3

So. Good night dear friends and not so dear possible enemies.

Will we agree with Cthulhu when it comes to you?

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Yesterday was RPG night! Which, of course, means that we were almost eaten by a 40 foot long, flying worm with biiiig sharp teeth. Of course. Hrm. Nothing to see here people, move along. Just a bunch of crazies saying weird stuff about worms. Hrm.

It’s a good group we’ve got. Problem is we are only 4, and we need to be 5. Especially since one of the players have a LOT of school work that sometimes get in the way, and then we are suddenly only three people playing. His character has been to the loo with ”the runs” the last two days, so he is pretty thin at this point. Well, we can’t drag him along with us when we do stuff, so he has to stay put somewhere for a good enough reason. Obviously our GM thought the runs was the best reason for why he couldn’t trail along when we went into Harlem and whatnot.

And oh, the mortality! The lack of survivabilty! That way of almost dying as soon as look at you! Makes it exciting I guess, but I get very fond of my characters and I really dislike when they die. Which have so far in my short career as a roleplayer (um… well… 9 years now I think..?) never happened. Don’t wanna! ;(

But yeah. If you are a roleplayer, living in or close-by to Helsingborg and wanting to join our ranks to fight of Cthulhu and his pals (or so they say, so far it’s only been ONE measly little worm!) let us know and we’ll see if you are what we need. You need to be seasoned to keep up with the rest of us, so we won’t admit any virgins, sorry.

Ia Ia!

Dear Reject…

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…who dropped your news paper because of a tiny gust of wind. Two things:

  1. Learn to hold things so they don’t blow away as soon as look at you
  2. Pick up your fucking things if they fall on the ground and don’t just leave them there. Fucking idiot.

I am amazed at how grown people are acting. …says the one who writes this in her blog, but what the hey. If I drop my stuff on the ground I pick it up, instead of diving in for new news papers. The environment here already looks really bad, so why make it look worse?

Argh!

Blah blah blah I’m boring

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Kind of losing interest in writing here, which I guess is pretty obvious. I don’t do anything fun to write about, no one reads anyway and I am kind of too busy doing a lot of other things at the moment. Most of those things are things I do to keep the depression away, so it’s not that I go watch TV or something like that instead. I just …play, chat and try to keep my sanity.

I don’t know what you want me to write about that would make this blog more interesting for you. I don’t have any political opinions I want to share, I am not interested in discussing religion or current events, I don’t give a rat’s ass about Melodifestivalen or Big Brother and I am not very good at following a red thread when I try to express myself about things that disturbs me. So, apart from the previously mentioned subjects, is there anything I could write or post that would be interesting to you and to me? Because right now it just feels as if I put words out there just to keep the blog updated on a daily basis, and not really because I have something fun to share.

I can’t write about work because a) I don’t think I am allowed to and b) I wouldn’t be comfortable writing about it as long as I work there anyway. I can’t write about everything that goes on in my head and stuff because there are people reading here that I don’t want to share that stuff with. So yeah. I have too much limitations and too little fun going on.

I will probably keep updating here until I find out what to write about that would make this blog (really?) interesting. We’ll see.

As always, thanks for reading.