Photograhpy: Ricard Hellberg

By now you are all probably aware of the fact that I am a control freak, at least of this is not your first visit to my blog. But then you should be aware of it anyway from reading that first sentence so yeah. Control freak.

BUT. Every now and then I get some really crazy urges that I want and need to do stuff. Like when I tried to find someone to take a beer with me at 10PM yesterday, after having spent the day at home being perfectly happy with working on my own and watching movies. I was all dressed up with nowhere to go, as the saying goes. Now I found out that there’s a masquerade party in Gothenburg on friday that I’d like to go to, but unless I find anyone to go with and somewhere to sleep it’s not going to happen. I am not going to do the same mistake as when me and Ricard went to Deep and were going to take the first train home. Also, I think the club in Gothenburg closes earlier than 5AM..?

Anyway. Will most likely just stay at home anyway, but yeah. I like dressing up and even though I don’t have that much to chose from (lies!) I think I could get some kind of cool outfit going :)

I don’t know why I get these impulsive urges. It’s always been like that, and as long as I can still work some kind of PLAN into it I don’t mind. I have written about this before; about my trip to Denmark and about the LARP I went to last summer, where I had absolutely no plans except for when the bus/plane was leaving. I know how stressed out I can get and that it’s not unusual that I get some kind of panic attacks from this, so I don’t know why I keep trying to force myself into these situations where I don’t have the control I need. I am a strange creature, that’s for sure.

But yeah. It would have been nice to have been going out for a beer yesterday. Perhaps I can find someone to go for a beer with me today..? Problem is I don’t know if I am in the mood for going out today, haha :D

I just need to break down the awkward and shy side of me and work on the outgoing version. I can do it, right? Ganbatte ne! (>^.^)>

I’ll keep you updated on my progress :P