The anxiety is back. Angst. Feeling ill and empty. I kept it off me for a day and now it is back with full force. I try to fend myself against it, but it keeps getting harder.
I am better than this.

Spent the night at Leo’s and Amanda’s. Much needed. I think I had too much tea though – cut me and I will be bleeding lemon and honey. Will be going into town with Amanda in a little bit. The plan is to find an item of jewellry, something to keep me reminded of home. Witch stuff. Granny Weatherwax. I am channelling. And now I am ranting, so never mind.

Going to my grandmother’s tonight. Bath tub. Much needed, I feel an urge to be surrounded by hot water and a regular shower just won’t do. Blub blub.

The week is almost at an end. Three days left. Right now I feel that I would need another month here to re-charge. I need to feel Gotland beneath my feet. This is where I find my strength that I so much need. …I am very needy right now. And complainy, for all that matters. I AM better than this.

I need to go back to where I was, mentally, the day before yesterday. I was the witch and I was the wood spirit and I was the ocean. Today I am nothing. I AM BETTER THAN THIS.

Feeling ill. I started coughing yesterday, and I keep feeling hot. Meh. Stop that, I am miserable enough without being ill to boot!

Ohwell. Off to town we go.