Ersätter vanmakt med kreativitet

Jo, jag tog bort ett inlägg, som ni kanske har lagt märke till. Det framgick inte vem jag var arg på men jag vill inte ha ilskan på min blogg, så jag valde att censurera mig själv istället. (Ett aktivt val. JAG får censurera mig – NI får inte censurera mig. Ni kan låta bli att besöka bloggen om innehållet stör er.)


När jag kom hem låg två saker från posten på dörrmattan:

Det ena är ett paket innehållande 40 objekt som skall bli ett objekt tillsammans och det skall bli jättekul och jag hoppas att det går bra för annars blir jag ledsen
Det andra är en avi som säger att mina kläder från BlackMilk har kommit. Borde vara instant happiness amirite? Men mja, inte helt nöjd att jag måste betala 850:- (!!!) i tull för något jag redan har betalat 1300:- för. Morr :( Så nu hoppas jag banne mig att kläderna sitter bra och gör de det så lägger jag upp bilder ikväll!

Men något som däremot gör mig pipglad och fjärilig och pepp är att en av människorna jag lavjade med sist jag var iväg (2011) tog kontakt med mig och frågade om jag ville vara med i deras grupp i sommar på nästa stora lajv i Krigshjärta-kampanjen, och det vill jag! Och det känns jättebra och plötsligt var jag superpepp på att börja sy lajvkläder igen. Skall skissa lite på hur jag skall göra min knektdräkt. Det blir byxor och en jacka och en skjorta och massor av smock, i alla fall :) Detaljerna är det jag skall skissa på :) Yay!

Jag återkommer med eventuella bilder och skisser och whatnot senare :3

Also: YAY jag har fyllt på local files på Spotify med alla låtar jag har i datorn så nu kan äntligen visa lite mer korrekt vad jag lyssnar på på dagarna :D Eller ja, när jag är hemma i alla fall :) Huzzah!


Fuck everything, I need to LARP!

Suddenly it dawned on me: Fuck everything, I need to LARP! So yeah. I have spent today looking at a lot of different sites to get some inspiration, because I need to sew new clothing to wear. Don’t worry, I finished my work early and I was even able to throw in some extra bang for the buck – I would never neglect my work to browse for my hobbies. Also, most of the sites I wanted to visit are blocked at work anyway :P

I am about half-finished with the chainmail vest I am building for Robin, and then I have another four to build since people ask me for it as soon as I mention that I like building chainmail. I just don’t want to take proper orders until people have seen the finished result. I know it’s good, but I want people to be sure this is what they want so that I don’t put time, effort and money into something they realize they don’t want. Since my rings are almost out I ordered some new today, and I am really, REALLY hoping that they will get here before friday. I don’t think they will though, but yeah. Hope is still nice, eh?

Anyway. LARP. I don’t have a concept, I don’t have a character, I don’t have any fabric, I don’t know what the heck I am doing (again) and still I have spent the day listening to my LARP playlist on Spotify and dreamt about running around in the woods again. I kind of need this. If I can’t have Gotland beneath my feet I can at least pretend to be someone else and go browse the woods for enemies and friends and whatnot. I am the huldra, remember? (yeah, I know that I am not really a huldra, but sometimes I got it in me and… aw, whatever. I am crazy, ok?)

So yeah. I need to at least decide on a concept so I can start looking at what I need to sew, then I have to figure out how much money I am lacking for fabric and how much time I won’t have to sew since I am building a chainmail lol. Ohgodsthisisgoingtobebad. Anyway, I am crazy and creative and inspired so fuck you, I will give this a try even though it will probably just end up in tears, pain and misery anyway. Hey, I may be a controlfreak but I don’t know what’s good for me so I keep putting myself into situations I may have been wanting to avoid. Krigshjärta last summer was good for me but it was also OH SO BAD for me. Since I had no control, for instance. And since I kind of freaked out a couple of times because I was running out of time, didn’t have anything planned and things kept being messed up. This time around… it will be the same damn story again. But I am stronger now! …ohwait, not really. I am still trying to come back from the depression and yeah. Um. THIS IS GOOD FOR ME SHUT UP.

Anyway. The woods, the woodssss!

…and biiiiiig guns! ♥

Top picture – photo Eric Hejdström, photo taken at Stavgard, Gotland
Bottom picture – photo Carina Hellberg, photo showing the cannon ”Zorn des Rudigers”

Birthday girl

Once upon a time I was a tiny, supercute baby girl. Now I’m a grown up, scary zombie. How things have changed ;)

I had such weird dreams last night, but I can’t remember. I just remember I was upset and tried to run away, but I was stuck in this strang world and I couldn’t get out of there. But I was less bewildered when I woke up today than yesterday, when I actually did this crazy turnaround before I got up. Instead of turning to the left, where my phone is, I actually did this really weird and panicked turn to the right, so I had to turn all the way to get to the phone. That kind of amused me when I eventually did get up to think about it, haha.

Yes, as you can see from my post yesterday  evening I am neglecting everything that has to do with computers right now, as I am busy building a chainmail shirt. I put some pictures about this on facebook and now I have been asked to build more chainmail, haha. We’ll see when this piece is finished, I think. My hands are sore and swollen and my wrists are aching, but I am happy because I like building stuff ^^ The best thing about chainmail is that you can actually see the progress! Not ring by ring when you have started to getting somewhere, but there is always a visual progress which I like :) I hate when I have to spend hours on the zigzag when I sew, because it’s a lot of work but it doesn’s show. As soon as I can start putting the pieces together is when I am happy, because that is when the progress is showing. I am very visual oriented like that :)

Going out for birthday dinner with my brother and my ex tonight. Steakhouse! Mmmeat! :3 I am thinking Black & White, om nom nom ♥

Because sometimes a girl is entitled to some bragging, that’s why

And then the skirt was finished. Wooo. It got better than I had dared to expect, but perhaps not as good as I may have wanted. Good enough, though! I think this outfit will look awesome! :) Gonna buy stockings and stuff tomorrow, and perhaps also some fake eye-lashes I fell in love with. Mrrrf. I like planning big awesome outfits ^_^ Next one to be planned will be what to wear for my birthday, I guess. No idea yet :P But yeah. Not sure if it is worth turning older. I feel like there are so many things I want to accomplish in life where my age will get a bigger and bigger issue and problem. Meh. Not good.

Anyhoooo I’m tired today. Long week and I haven’t slept as well as I may have wanted. I am seriously thinking about going to bed early today to try to catch up on some sleep, since tomorrow will be a loooooong day indeed. Thousand things going on and all I want is ONE phone call I am not going to make. Silly stupid.

Ohwell. I didn’t have anything important to say, I just wanted to brag about me finishing the skirt ^_^

Pro at procrastination

Well, of course I never started sewing yesterday. Why make it easy on myself? I cut the fabric and left it in a pile. So today I have to iron it, zig zag it, put it all together and be finished with it. No time tomorrow. Hrm. Good girl! …;(

Why do I always have to put all these little projects to the last second? I *really* need this skirt for tomorrow, so yeah. Can’t really just skip it and wear something else, because I don’t have anything else that would fit the theme I am going for. Silly stupid.

I slept well but woke up an hour before the alarm went off. Deadly tired at the moment, but I will be back to my own self in a little while. Whee. Right now I am listening to christmas music. Hrm. Perhaps something more upbeat would help me wake up..?

I’ll try to put up some pictures of my bustle skirt as soon as it is done. Gives me something more to reach for, which will hopefully help. Hrm.

Not that I need sleep, but I do

I did the misstake of snoozing before I got up this morning. Not a good idea, at all. I know that I get wayyyy more tired whenever I snooze, and still I do? Silly stupid. Now I am trying to keep my eyes open but every time I blink it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to open the eyes again. And I am not going to get a lot more sleep this weekend, seeing as how I have to get up around 8:30 on Saturday to go to Väla with my brother, and then I am not going back to bed until ~7:00 on Sunday morning due to us going to the club and then going with the first train home in the morning. So yeah, Sunday will be spent in bed because I will be in dire need of sleep. Omg. No idea how I am going to manage this, but it sounded like such a good idea when it first came up! I think I will have to try to get some naps during the day, like a child/old lady. lol.

I was so sleepy yesterday, but all of a sudden my stomach filled up with squeee and then I couldn’t fall asleep when I wanted to. Instead I was wide awake but oh so tired. Very annoying combination tbh, when you want and need to sleep but instead you are staring at the ceiling, picturing one million different possibilities. Silly stupid.

Monday I’ll be going out for a beer with two friends after work. Since I will be asleep all sunday I will be really perky and awake and everything by then, right? …right. Haha. Oh I will be such a mess.

Today I need to remember to bring glasses home from work, because I need to sew today and tomorrow to build that bustle skirt I really need for my outfit. Good thing I don’t do things last second all the time! …oh, wait. :P

Clothes, makeup, 6 feet axe.

Eller så skiter jag i allt och fixar en burka


Idag lyckades jag faktiskt helt låta bli att snooza, känner mig lite stolt :) I vanliga fall går jag ju faktiskt upp direkt när klockan ringer, men de här senaste dagarna har jag varit alldeles galet supertrött när klockan ringt att jag ju snott åt mig ett par extra minuters sömn varje dag. Jag har dock typ tusen saker som skall vara klara tills fredag, så då har man inte lyxen att unna sig lite extra sömn på morgonen. Så är det.

Så. Min klänning är i stort sett klar. Jag behöver fixa knäppning på den, vilken kommer att sitta i ryggen = skitsvårt att göra själv. Utöver det skall jag bara fästa axelbanden och fixa lite småjusteringar på den, men mer eller mindre kan den betraktas som klar. Nöjd, faktiskt. Den är klart över förväntan! Kanske inte riktigt så bra som jag egentligen hade hoppats att den skulle bli, men den är ju helt frihandad så vad fan. Hela livstycket är skapat genom principen ”nåla fast en massa tyg till dig själv,rita på det med en blyertspenna, nåla mer och hoppas på det bästa” och det verkar ju faktiskt vara en ganska lyckad princip i det här fallet.

Dock… tror jag att jag har min andra outfit på mig. Klänningen är sockersöt, men jag tror den andra outfiten passar bättre i ett burlesksammanhang. Får se. Jag har ju en djäkla massa saker att göra, så klänningen är ju en extra stressfaktor just nu. Eftersom jag HAR en väldigt bra outfit som alternativ så är frågan om man inte skall lägga klänningen på is just nu och ha den på sig typ nästa gång..? Så hinner jag med alla små detaljer på den också. Hrm. Ibland kanske man skall lyssna på sin vuxna sida istället för att låta barnet bestämma allt?

Onsdag. Mittwoch. Den här veckan släpar och springer om vartannat, första halvan går så sjukt segt och sedan har veckan helt plötsligt försvunnit helt för en. Bläurgh.

Nu: Kläder, smink, köttyxa

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